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It’s been awhile

I knew this would happen. I would start a blog & write a few posts & then it would die. That’s kind of what it seems like – so I’m writing a post here, hoping to revive it a tad.

Things have been going quite well around here, with lots of good changes & things we’ve been hoping for coming to fruition.

My brain’s been a tad scattered – I have all these things I want to say here when something happens & then by the time I have enough time to type here, my brain goes all fuzzy. So I’m just going to start throwing stuff out there.

This past Monday, the weather around here was positively gorgeous, so my husband decided to take Nathaniel to the beach/boardwalk – we live about 1.5 hours or so from Ocean City, NJ and it’s one of our favorite places. Nathaniel’s not been a big fan of the shore, for the most part. We had a few day trips where we hung out on the beach, but Nathaniel never wanted to venture onto the sand & nowhere near the water – he’d just stay on the blanket or on my lap – also had some meltdowns, both on the beach & on the boardwalk. But we had two promising trips last early autumn, where he actually very gradually was comfortable with being on the beach & a little on the boardwalk. So again, this past Monday, the weather was right, Daddy decided to give it a whirl.

They had a perfect afternoon – Nat played on the beach in the sand and, with some reservation, made it a short distance on the boardwalk to get water ice. The car rides were just fine – no problem coming or going. I was at work, of course, but Eric kept me updated with photos, like this one (see how close to the water – and it’s hard to tell, but he’s smiling – apparently, he had a good time running up to the water & then running back as soon as a wave would come in.):

ImageOn Tuesday, after I got home from work, I asked Nat if he’d like to take a ride in the stroller while I jogged, he very excitedly told me that he did – and chased me upstairs while I got ready to go and happily got into his stroller, answering “yes” when I asked him if he was comfortable with the straps. While I jogged, he commented on what way we were going, “This way! That way!” and also answered “yes” when I asked if he was happy. We only did about two miles, as it was getting kind of late in the evening, but it was awesome because we had not been out for a jog together in a very long time and I wasn’t sure if he’d be comfortable. Not to mention that this was the first time we went jogging that he was talking & really communicating with me, so I didn’t have to guess about his level of comfort. It was liberating.

On Wednesday, I learned that I have to stop with the potty mouth. For the first time ever, Nat repeated a swear word that I’d said the second earlier (I swear when I do something clumsy, which is, unfortunately, rather frequent). He didn’t use it in context & he was simply repeating & went on with what he was doing – but I know now, he will repeat, so no more being able to say whatever I want & not worry about him saying it too. This is both good and bad.

On the negative side, Nathaniel has found a new way to make my brain hurt. He used to have a non-verbal whine, a whine that drove me nuts from as early as 8 months. And then this past year, he started whining with words. And there was a period of sudden screeching. And then there was the constant counting & reciting of the alphabet song. Now, when he gets excited, he talks very fast & says one or two words over & over again, with some “d,d,d,d,d” in between. He expects a response and I’m sure he means to say a whole bunch of other words in between that would make sense, but really, all he’s saying, in a loud squeaky-ish voice is “Train!….train!….track!…train track!….train! train!….track!….make a train….!” or “waterfall….water fountain….make a waterfall….train…” There have been multiple times recently that I’ve had to leave the room to clear my hurting head. I’m trying kid, really, I want to do whatever it is that you want, but omg, if I hear the words train/track or water fountain/waterfall one.more.time, I will lose my mind. My head hurts just typing about it.

On a separate positive side, I’ve been able to do some things for myself that used to be darn near impossible. I’ve been exercising at least 4 or 5 nights per week. My running is getting a little better. I’m doing some cross training. I joined a new gym where I can start swimming again (I probably look ridiculous when I swim & all I know is a basic arm stroke, but whatev). I also have real & true plans for gardening this year. This morning, I was even able to do some yard work while Nathaniel played in his new sandbox & out in the yard with a truck – I used to think I’d never be able to do yard work with him around. Then, thanks to Grandmom taking over for the afternoon, Eric & I got our first vegetable garden dug (plants go in hopefully next weekend).

I did run last spring, but it was sporadic at best. I started some yard work last spring, but it was mostly just cleaning up from the previous 2 years neglect & eventually, everything just went to weeds because I couldn’t keep up with anything.

This spring, I feel truly optimistic. I haven’t felt truly optimistic about much of anything that was just for me in a long time.



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